[For the first time on a fourth wall day, Chris is actually openly smiling at the camera when he turns it on.]

Hullo, you lot. I'm DC Chris Skelton of City Police, though I reckon today some of you'd know that, yeah? Jus' try an' be careful an' orderly an' that and think of today and maybe tomorrow like you're on your hols. Think that's about it, ( Read more... )

[Chris has been out patrolling for the day so far and he hasn't really noticed anything odd. Or rather, he's noticed quite a lot of kissing but presumably it's holiday-related? Nothing to do with him, unless it's a troop of devious kissing-pickpockets. But he doesn't find that likely, at least, not likely enough to bother with investigating any of ( Read more... )

Hello, students, and welcome back to City U. Or maybe welcome to cos I reckon some of you must be first years. I'm Constable Chris Skelton with the Campus Police. Now, were not here to ruin your time or sommat so you shouldn't ruin ours. Were here to help you, really, cos no-one wants their room on fire or their laptop stolen, probably.

So ( Read more... )

[Police Filter]
So about th'slugs an' kidnappin'...s'all that over, then? Or does anyone know about someone still infected, maybe? Might focus on trackin' down that purse snatcher otherwise.
[/Police Filter]

[Private to Penny/Filtered quite badly and totally hackable]
'M real proud of you, Penny. Think y'really made a difference with the deities. I ( Read more... )

[Chris, doing his best at Public Service Announcement.]

Hullo. I'm DC Skelton with the City Police an' I s'pose there's a lot of visitors 'ere again. So, um, that's more eyes lookin' out, yeah? Jus' a moment, think I have a way to copy this in some'ow...

[He fiddles around with the device for a while and finally manages to link to this below the ( Read more... )

[Police Filter]Um, DC Chris Skelton. Date...probably January 7th, even though it was different when I left home. Time...half past-ish. I thought I should maybe do a report on what I've figured out so far, even if it's not very much. Figured out about the crime with all the organs, I mean. I conducted an interview with the victim maybe about...three ( Read more... )

Right, so there's a Christmas package with a womb in it's been delivered to a bird on the Network. I said we might try and get over for an investigation. Do we have forensic blokes we could get in on it? I s'pose there might be fingerprints on the package, or sommat. Um... I dunno. There's a dead bird out there somewhere too, I guess.

EDIT: Awright ( Read more... )